


Over the Edge

by Space_AgeScribe



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Episode Tag, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Team as Family, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-08-30 11:33:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 16,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8531437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Space_AgeScribe/pseuds/Space_AgeScribe
Summary: The device had been disabled and the Daedalus was on its way. The mission was over, and now the survivors could limp home to recover. But for John Sheppard, the problems caused by the Wraith device back on the planet were just beginning. Tag to 3 x 09: "Phantoms". Reposted from fanfiction.net.





	1. Chapter 1

John Sheppard could feel Teyla's sympathetic stare boring into the side of his head. He couldn't look at her now after admitting out loud, for the first time in years, that he had failed to save Holland. Sometimes, he just wanted to forget, even if just for a little while.

The Daedalus would be here soon, and then they could get the hell off this rock. He knew he should probably rest now since all was quiet – crisis averted – and he would probably have to lead the marines who beamed down to retrieve the bodies. Or what was left of them.

Still, he couldn't get his mind to settle. Even Teyla's quiet, stoic presence couldn't calm the nerves that made him feel like jumping out of his skin. Despite his fatigue, he could not stop his leg from bouncing and his hands from clenching repeatedly. Since almost everyone else had a bullet hole in them, he should consider himself lucky, but he could not shake the feeling that things were not yet over.

"Colonel."

John jumped as Carson Beckett stood before him. He hoped neither the doctor nor Teyla had noticed his flinch or the shaking that would not quite stop. He really needed to get a grip. Carson looked down at him with tired eyes.

"Are you okay, lad?" he asked. "Everyone else is stable and I realized that I hadn't had a chance to look you over yet."

"I'm fine," John said automatically, standing to hide his restlessness. He turned to look at Teyla, who looked as if any adrenaline she had was gone. She must be in a lot pain now, he thought. "Teyla, you should lie down and let Beckett give you some of the good drugs. You look like you could use them."

It was a testament to Teyla's pain levels that she only smiled gratefully at John instead of changing the topic back to his health. Carson nodded and John gave Teyla a hand in standing.

She gasped as the change in position made her dizzy. John immediately steadied her and looked at her in concern. Finally, she nodded her readiness and put her arm around his shoulders. He bent down to accommodate her shorter stature, a position that had become all too familiar in the past day.

But on the first step her good leg buckled, too weak to support her weight now that the danger had passed. Without thinking, John scooped her up in both arms and walked over to the cave entrance where the other wounded lay.

"Where should I put her?" he asked Beckett, who quickly cleared a spot near Rodney. John gently lowered Teyla to the ground and helped the doctor get her situated comfortably. As gently as he could, John lifted Teyla's leg while Carson took the backpack handed to him by Ronon and placed it underneath to keep it elevated. Still, John couldn't help but feel guilty that Teyla was slightly pale and panting in pain once they were done. John might not have been the one to shoot her, but all of the running around that he made her do certainly hadn't helped her condition.

Carson moved forward to assess Teyla's injuries and John took the opportunity to step back. Ronon sat back against a tree trunk, watching over everyone. Lt. Kagan was sleeping, no doubt with the help of morphine, as was Rodney. John suddenly felt a lump in his throat as he saw blood on the bandage around McKay's torso. It had been so close.

Suddenly, he pictured Holland lying in a similar pose on one of an infinite number of sand dunes. There hadn't been a lot of blood on the outside. That had been part of the problem: he had bled to death internally.

John unconsciously gripped his P-90 tighter as he remembered, again. It seemed now that door in his mind had been unlocked by the device, and the memories wouldn't go back easily into their box.

Rodney opened his eyes partway and gasped as he saw John staring at him, clutching his P-90. The scientist tried to scramble away before the pain of the movement brought him back to reality and reminded him that Sheppard was once again a friend.

John looked guilty as he watched his friend breathe through the pain, stepping forward to help but stopping when McKay flinched at his movement. Freezing in place, Sheppard watched helplessly, his heart pounding in his chest until he finally managed to choke out a few words.

"Rodney, are you all right?" he asked.

"Of course I'm not all right," McKay said, irritated. "You shot me! And might I add that you're really scary when you're like that. I'm debating whether I should speak for or against you at your court martial."

The words hit him like a blow to the chest. Normally, John would assure himself that if McKay was talking, he would be all right. But right now, all he could hear were Rodney's words ringing through his head, echoing Holland's words from many years before.

Unable to hold himself together any longer, John spun around and headed for the tree line. He wasn't sure whether he muttered something about checking the perimeter out loud or not, but right now he really didn't care. The injuries, the accusations and now the repetition of Holland's words suddenly made John feel as though he were in a nightmare. Only this time, he was awake.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things don't go well for Sheppard and Teyla has a Ziva moment.

"Rodney!" Teyla ground out the moment McKay's words left his mouth. Even she had flinched at his remarks. She watched with a sinking heart as John's face paled, and without another word he had spun on his heel and headed away from their camp.

"Leave him be for a moment," she said to Carson and Ronon as they both stood to go after the colonel.

Rounding on Rodney, she sent her fiercest glare in his direction. She was secretly gratified to see him shrink back a little.

"Well, he did shoot me. And he was standing over me with that stupid gun again. What was I supposed to do?" he said, pain causing him to become irritated once again.

"As you have mentioned. Repeatedly," Teyla said. "You are not the only one who has been hurt, Rodney."

"Did you not just see him walk away?" Rodney asked, incredulous that Teyla would defend Sheppard. Just the thought of Sheppard's soldier-stare made him shiver once again.

Teyla's posture relaxed slightly. "We have all suffered in one way or another, Rodney. He is well-aware of what he did and he has apologized. Already he feels guilty for far too much, so please, cut him some slacks."

"I think you mean cut him some slack," Rodney said, deflating a bit and succumbing to his weariness. "Fine, sorry. I just want to get off this planet."

Surprisingly, it was Ronon who stepped forward to offer encouragement. "Hang in there, McKay," the former Runner said. "The Daedalus should be here soon."

"I know," Rodney said quietly, trying to get more comfortable without moving too much.

Now that things had settled in the camp, Carson returned his attention to Teyla. "How bad is your pain, love?" he asked as he dug through his bag. "I do have a bit of morphine left."

Teyla was worried about John's reaction. The pain in his eyes as he spoke of his failure to save his friend broke her heart, and she had certainly noticed the shaking and hitched breaths. He had seemed unhurt, so much of the pain was likely mental. Sometimes, that was the worst kind.

John still had not returned, which meant someone would have to go after him. She knew she could not walk at this stage, but she could keep on eye on the wounded.

Looking at Carson, she shook her head. "You may save the morphine. The pain is not so bad. Do you have anything that will ease the pain for the moment without clouding my mind?"

"Something stronger than an aspirin?" Carson asked ruefully, digging through his medical bag. Finally, he found some suitable pills and handed one to Teyla with some water.

Thanking him, she took the pill and then looked over at Ronon. The Satedan stalked back and forth, keeping an eye on the direction John had gone.

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Carson tucked emergency blankets around his charges as a cool breeze began blowing from the north. He hoped that the Daedalus would arrive before any weather systems moved in.

As he gently maneuvred the blanket around Teyla's injured leg, Carson met her gaze. "You're worried about him, too, lass, aren't ya?"

Teyla nodded. Seeing that Ronon looked ready to take off into the woods after Sheppard, Teyla called him over.

Looking between his friends, Ronon's gaze finally settled on Teyla. "He's more likely to talk to you than to us," he said pragmatically. Even delusional, John had seen Teyla as friend rather than foe, something for which Ronon was grateful.

She nodded. "Colonel Sheppard, please respond," she said into her radio.

All three of the conscious 'Lanteans held their breaths as they waited for a reply. After what felt like minutes but was probably only seconds of silence, Teyla tried again. "John, are you there?"

Again, nothing.

"John, if you are there, please respond. We are worried," Teyla said, her stomach curling into a knot. The EM interference was gone. Even if he was angry, she knew that the colonel would not break protocol while they were off-world. Something was wrong.

Without another word, Ronon turned to head off into the woods. Teyla quickly called out, "Ronon, stop!"

Teyla ignored Ronon's dirty look as she knew that he was merely concerned about their friend and perhaps feeling a bit guilty. No one had experienced any hallucinations since the device had been deactivated, but he could not simply stalk off into the woods.

Carson looked at his watch. "The Daedalus should be here in less than two hours," he said as he bent to begin gathering supplies.

"Then I'd better go," Ronon said, again itching to move.

"Give me a minute," Carson replied, not looking up from his separation of supplies.

"My arm's fine," Ronon ground out.

"I'm not worried about your damn arm," Carson snapped as he shoved one pile of supplies back into the bag. Now he understood why Teyla had refused any medicine that could cloud her mind. "If the colonel isn't answerin', there's probably a reason. And that reason will probably require a doctor."

Teyla nodded as Carson stood up. "There should be everything you need, but it shouldn't be long now," he told her. "But if at all possible, it's best that none of you move."

"We will be fine," Teyla said, pulling her P-90 onto her lap. Then, with a slightly guilty look on her face, she said, "Please, go find John. I thought perhaps he simply needed a few moments to himself, but something seems to be wrong."

"Did I miss any injuries?" Carson asked, worried that perhaps the device had caused him to overlook something on the colonel, too.

Teyla shook her head. "No, he was uninjured. However, he was the only one of us to relive a specific memory rather than a manifestation of our greatest fear. Perhaps the device affected him more than we realized."

"You think he could be dangerous?" Ronon asked as he double-checked that his blaster was set to stun.

"I do not believe so. He was as lucid as the rest of you as soon as we turned off the device. I believe that perhaps the memories bother him, and Rodney's comments only made things worse."

Looking ruefully at their sleeping companions, Carson shouldered his bag. "Don't they always? Are you sure you'll be all right, lass?"

Teyla smiled despite the pain and frustration that she could not join in their search. "I will be fine. Now please, find John."

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gravity does not like John Sheppard

The moment Sheppard reached the tree line, he felt what little control he had slipping. He staggered through the forest aimlessly, the bile rising in his throat as he thought about the day. He had shot his friends. In both cases, he had been only a few inches away from murdering them. Thank god for Teyla's reflexes in pushing the gun away, or Rodney might have been in a body bag right now.

With that thought, he could no longer contain the nausea that rolled through his stomach. He had to lean against a tree to keep his balance as dizziness swept over him while he emptied what little was in his stomach. He couldn't stop the shudder that passed through him as he clamped his eyes shut.

John gasped as he felt a band tightening around his ribs. It felt as though he could no longer expand his chest. Panic climbed another few notches, and he was vaguely aware of his legs carrying him along an unseen path through the forest. He felt foggy, disconnected.

The lack of oxygen, the feel of his heart pounding in his chest, the black spots dancing in his vision finally caused John's legs to collapse beneath him. Unfortunately, there wasn't solid ground to catch him; instead, he felt himself falling.

Again, he was vaguely aware of tumbling down a slope. Collisions with rocks and branches knocked precious air out of his lungs. His body was out of control as it rolled down the steep incline. Everything happened so quickly that John hardly realized what was happening.

Suddenly, his head impacted a rock and everything went black.

SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA

John came to with a start, jerking up to take in his surroundings. Had he fallen asleep on patrol? The dizziness and pain that flared throughout his body reminded him that he had been injured. Trouble was, he couldn't remember any specifics. That was probably just as well.

He absently reached up to wipe the moisture off his face. He was surprised to look down and find his hand covered in blood. It took him a few seconds to realize that accounted for the throbbing in his head.

Still unsure of where he was, he listened as carefully as he could through the heartbeat pounding in his ears. He couldn't hear any enemy soldiers moving through the area around him. He unconsciously sighed in relief as he realized he was alone. Unfortunately, the sigh merely brought the pain in his ribs to his attention.

John took shallow breaths, waiting for the pain to die down before taking a look around. Huh. He must have somehow ended up at an oasis. It didn't look quite right, but for now he would take what he could get.

Sheppard panicked as he thought about how his desert camo was going to stand out like a sore thumb, so he was surprised to look down and see that he had on black fatigues. Where did these come from? he asked himself.

Panic rising, he swung around to look in all directions, trying to see through the double-vision that plagued him. He couldn't see or hear anything, but that didn't mean they weren't around. He'd have to tread carefully in case they had booby-trapped the area.

He couldn't get caught, not like last time. He owed it to Holland to save him. He wouldn't lose him this time.

As long as he could stay low and avoid detection, he should eventually make contact with American or British forces in the area. With a final look around, Sheppard rose painfully to his feet and staggered back into the trees.

SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA

Ronon had no trouble following Sheppard's trail through the forest. If anything, it was too easy. He suppressed his urge to take off and purposely slowed his pace so Beckett could keep up as with his medical supplies. The doctor was right – by now, Sheppard would probably need medical care of some sort.

He couldn't help but ponder their predicament. Teyla was the only person who had remained objective throughout the whole crisis, and she was the one to notice that only Sheppard was forced to relive a painful memory. When Sheppard's voice had cracked as he apologized for shooting everyone, Ronon had thought he was trying not to laugh. Now he realized that Sheppard had probably been desperate to maintain every last bit of control that he could salvage. He hadn't missed the pain in Sheppard's eyes and the hitch of his breath before he took off into the woods.

Now, he just hoped that Sheppard's famous bad luck hadn't preceded him to this planet. Whether the injury would be mental or physical remained to be seen.

No one else had seen any hallucinations since the device had been disabled, but he couldn't assume that Sheppard was completely lucid if he wasn't answering his radio. Ronon paused next to a large tree to listen for Sheppard and surreptitiously give Carson a rest.

"What is it?" Carson whispered as Ronon scanned the area.

Ronon shrugged. "Just listening." Not hearing anything nearby, he bellowed, "SHEPPARD!"

Carson flinched, then held his breath as they waited for any indication that the colonel was in the area.

"Do you think we're in the right place?" the doctor asked.

"Of course," Ronon said matter-of-factly. When he saw Beckett's scepticism, he pointed at Sheppard's trail through the trees. "See? He knows better than to leave a trail like this if he doesn't want anyone following him."

Now that Ronon had pointed it out, it was easy to see the broken branches and staggered footprints moving haphazardly through the trees. Three years of experience on Atlantis told the doctor that something wasn't right.

"He's not doing too well, is he?" Carson asked Ronon worriedly, hoping the Satedan would contradict him.

Ronon's own worried expression did nothing to ease his mind.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronon's on the hunt and Teyla's stuck baby-sitting a drugged-up Rodney

A couple of minutes later, it became apparent what had happened to Sheppard. Ronon and Carson walked parallel to a steep embankment for a few moments before crumbled earth marked Sheppard's less-than-graceful descent to the bottom.

Beckett swore, realizing that John was probably hurt given the amount of debris between here and the level ground below. There was too much brush in the way to see whether the colonel was still down there. Carson secretly hoped not. He wasn't sure that together he and Ronon had the strength left to carry anyone back to base right now.

Ronon offered to take the medical kit, but Carson refused as he began to pick his way down the steep slope. Ronon didn't want to admit that he struggled a bit with only one good arm, occasionally having to grab on to nearby plants to keep from slipping. Both men let out sighs of relief when they finally moved off of the crumbling hillside and onto flatter ground.

Carson was only a step behind Ronon when the Satedan spotted Sheppard's landing spot, unsure whether or not to be happy that their friend was not lying in a crumpled heap at the bottom. It was obvious where Sheppard had landed, and the small bloodstain on the ground did nothing to ease the doctor's worry.

The doctor dropped his gear on the ground for a quick rest while Ronon took a look around the area. "Looks like Sheppard hit his head," he said as he studied the blood stain and surrounding area.

"Head wounds bleed a lot," Carson said with false hope. "Maybe it's not as bad as it looks."

"If it wasn't bad, he'd have the sense to be here waiting for us," Ronon answered, sounding uncharacteristically tired. "It looks like he had trouble standing up and walking straight. He's favoring one leg now. He wasn't before."

Carson had learned long ago to accept Ronon's tracking skills. "Right. So, what now?"

Ronon stood up and reached for his radio. "We'll check in with Teyla, and then keep after Sheppard," he said.

Hopefully, a head injury so soon after dealing with the effects of the device wouldn't prevent Sheppard from telling friend from foe. The man could be dangerous.

SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA

It was a testament to the mixture of boredom and anxiety plaguing Teyla that she activated her radio within a second of hearing Ronon's rumbling tones.

"Ronon, Dr. Beckett. How is John?" she asked.

She could hear the reluctance in Ronon's voice as he answered, "Still searching."

Teyla felt despair surge through her. She was unable to move around because of the relentless pain radiating from her leg when she wanted nothing more to pace in the camp or charge off into the forest. She knew that her tense posture was only making the gunshot worse, but she couldn't seem to convince her body to relax.

"How are the others, love?" Carson's voice cut in.

Teyla looked down at her charges, who were positioned on either side of her so she could assist them with a minimum of movement. For the moment, both men appeared to be sleeping, although Rodney was becoming a bit restless.

She sighed. "We are all as well as we can be for the moment. There has been no movement in the forest."

"We're still on Sheppard's trail. We'll find him soon," Ronon said, trying to reassure his teammate.

Everyone knew that something was wrong.

"Be careful," Teyla warned them. "If there is any chance John is not himself right now, he would never forgive himself if he hurt you."

"We'll be careful," Ronon vowed before signing off.

Teyla stared into the forest, not noticing the breeze or the birdsong in the distance. Her thoughts were turned to John. Today had been disconcerting, to say the least, and not just because she had watched him shoot his friends.

For some reason, despite their hallucinations, neither Ronon nor John had ever seen her as anything but a friend. For that she was grateful, as she knew a gunshot wound to the leg would not have allowed her to run away. She would have been easy prey.

More than anything, it was John's one-sided conversation that had distressed her. Already dizzy and in great pain, there was nothing she could do to make John understand their situation as he simply would start speaking about backup and 'buying rounds' at random moments. Thankfully, whatever scenario he imagined had turned out to involve helping a friend.

After the machine was turned off, both he and Ronon nearly collapsed when they realized what they had done. She saw the confusion on John's face as he tried to separate reality from his visions, and she had started crying in relief when John discovered that she was hurt and moved in quickly to help.

A groan beside her ripped Teyla from her thoughts. Beside her, Rodney's eyes fluttered open with great effort.

"Cars'n?" he slurred.

Any movement caused her agony, but Teyla leaned over toward her teammate as best she could.

"Shhh, Rodney. Carson is not here just now. Do you need something?" she asked gently.

It took a few moments for her words to sink in. "Oh, where is he?" Rodney asked, his mind still muddled with drugs and sleep.

"He and Ronon have gone after Col. Sheppard," she said.

Rodney shuddered. "He's dangerous. He shot me"

"The device has been disabled," Teyla reminded him.

Rodney suddenly moved to sit up but collapsed back in pain. "Wait, he hasn't come back? How long has it been?"

Teyla tried to soothe him. "It has been nearly an hour. Ronon will find him."

"If Sheppard doesn't find him first," Rodney mumbled ominously.

"I am sure everything will be fine," Teyla said, trying not to lose patience. "Go back to sleep, Rodney."

After helping him take a drink of water, which hurt her leg so much she was nearly in tears by the time she repositioned herself, Rodney finally drifted back to sleep.

Teyla sat back, breathing through the pain and feeling hopeless for the first time in a long time. She prayed to the Ancestors that help would come soon, because she needed this mission to be over.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cavalry arrives; meanwhile, Ronon's haircut definitely is not military regulation

John wasn't sure how long he had been walking. There was never-ending forest, which didn't make any sense. So far he had managed to avoid any enemy patrols in the area, but frustration was building as he failed to find any signs of people.

In some ways, that was good. He couldn't allow himself to be captured. He was thirsty. His throat burned. Some part of his mind understood that he was injured, but it couldn't stop images from plaguing him. Memories, really. Men shouting at him, beating him when he did not understand their words. Being tied up, not knowing when it would end. Heat. Sand. So thirsty.

He flinched as the pain from his captors' blows made itself known.

John stood gasping for a moment, finally realizing that he was still standing alone in an unknown location. His head pounded and his body ached. His leg was starting to stiffen. He needed to find cover now.

After a few more minutes' wandering, John found a small cave that was mostly hidden by foliage. Given that his endurance was fast running out, it would have to do.

Hardly pausing to check whether the cave was inhabited by local wildlife, John half-crawled, half-dropped into the space. Within moments, he had closed his eyes, giving in to the pain and exhaustion.

SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA

After a time that might have been hours or minutes – he wasn't sure – John jerked awake at the sound of people moving through the undergrowth nearby.

John felt relief flood through him as he realized that the approaching soldiers were speaking English. One wasn't saying much, but the other definitely had a Scottish accent. Thank God. He'd found a British Forces patrol.

From the cover of the cave, he saw them stop and take a look around. Something was strange about these two. They definitely had military-issued gear, but they weren't in standard protective equipment. And those dreadlocks … those definitely didn't meet military regs. Then he heard one of them call out his name.

"Here," he called to them, surprised at how weak and gravelly his voice sounded. Still, the men heard him and carefully approached, apparently unable to see him through the vegetation. He saw the taller man motion the Scottish man to stay behind him as they slowly walked forward.

"I'm not gonna shoot you, I promise," John managed to choke out before a cough erupted from his dry throat.

With that, the vegetation parted and the two men rushed forward toward him. Ronon knelt down in front of Sheppard, and suddenly John's mind was elsewhere.

This was Ronon. Ronon Dex. Mitch and Dex. They went down over Kabul. He saw them.

"Dex, you're dead," he murmured at Ronon.

"Sorry, Sheppard," Ronon said, shaking his head and answering with a smile despite the strangeness of Sheppard's comment and the unusual use of Ronon's last name. "You haven't gotten rid of me yet."

"No, I saw your chopper go down," John insisted. "RPG took out the tail rotor." He shuddered with the memory.

Ronon shared a concerned look with Beckett. Carson shrugged and began evaluating John, hoping Ronon could keep the injured man distracted. It was clear that the colonel was hurt and a few fries short of a Happy Meal at the moment.

Half of the man's face was caked with dried blood. That, combined with the pale, dirty skin beneath, gave the man a slightly ghoulish look. How had things gone so wrong so quickly?

Suddenly there was a crackling noise in their ear pieces. Carson and Ronon exchanged another look.

"The cave might be blocking part of the signal," the doctor said. With a quick nod, Ronon slipped out into the open air.

"Ronon, Dr. Beckett? This is the Daedalus. Please come in," a voice said in his ear.

Ronon couldn't help the small sigh of relief that escaped him. Suddenly he felt exhausted, the past day catching up with him and his arm throbbing in time with his heartbeat.

"This is Ronon," he answered. "We're gonna need some help."

SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA

A couple of minutes earlier, Teyla had answered the Daedalus' call with the same sigh of relief.

"Yes, we are here," she said. "We will need assistance as I believe almost all of us are injured."

Within moments, a group of medics, surrounded by marines with P-90s raised, beamed into the clearing.

As they quickly moved into action, Teyla heard Col. Caldwell's voice sounding concerned. "Teyla, we're only picking up three life signs. Dr. Weir said your team was okay. What's happened to the others?"

Teyla could feel herself shaking with fatigue and pain, her heart beating painfully in her chest as she began to wonder whether John had mistaken Ronon and Dr. Beckett for the enemy once again. She reassured herself that she had neither heard gunshots nor calls for help. They were safe. They had to be.

She was vaguely aware of someone gently removing her P-90 and taking her pulse, but she focused all of her energy on answering Caldwell's questions.

"Dr. Beckett and Ronon were following Col. Sheppard after he left the area," Teyla reported.

To her relief, a few moments later Caldwell came back on. "We've made contact with them. Apparently they were in a cave that was blocking their life signs."

"Are they okay?" Teyla asked urgently, aware of the irony in asking a man drifting through space above the planet about the welfare of her friends nearby.

A moment later Caldwell replied. "They are requesting medical assistance but are all alive."

Then, more gently, he said, "You'll see them in a few minutes."

Teyla murmured her thanks and lay back. She worried about her friends, but they were still alive and help was here. That would have to be enough for now.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally get the good drugs

Once Kagan, McKay and Teyla were stable and secured for transport, they were beamed directly to the infirmary. The other group, meanwhile, was taking longer.

Carson was concerned about Col. Sheppard. The man seemed stuck somewhere between reality and the scenario brought forth by that bloody device, though he wasn't sure whether it was caused by the obvious concussion or something else. Head injuries were dangerous, and given the colonel's lack of movement since their arrival, he was probably hurt elsewhere, as well.

Ronon came back in a moment later, looking tired but less worried. "They're taking care of the others and then they'll beam the medics down to us. ETA, five minutes," he reported.

"Good," Carson said, turning back to his patient. He didn't like leaving the injured behind, but from the looks of things, coming with Ronon had been the right call. Turning to his medical bag, he felt around for yet another piece of gauze to stem the bleeding from John's head.

"They'll never get a chopper down with this cover," John murmured.

Rather than argue with the pilot, Carson told him that they had found a clearing nearby.

John shook his head. "Don't let them land if they see any movement," he warned. "It'd be easy to get ambushed out here."

"They'll be careful," Carson assured him. The colonel was starting to get agitated, and he needed to keep the man still until he could be assessed in the infirmary.

It wasn't a moment too soon when Carson heard the sound of beaming technology and then someone talking to Ronon. Thankfully, John seemed to accept medical personnel that he didn't know. For his part, Carson was happy to let someone else take over the colonel's care for a little while. The day had been mentally and physically exhausting.

Thankfully, Sheppard seemed out-of-it enough that he didn't question the beaming technology that deposited them on the Daedalus a few minutes later. For his part, Carson was just happy to be off that miserable planet. He couldn't wait for this day to be over.

SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA

The medical staff on board the Daedalus were nearly pulling their hair out by the time the second group materialized on the deck. Teyla was refusing to cooperate, and from what they had heard, she was the easy one to deal with. Her body seemed to be going into shock, but she didn't care.

One nurse heard her gasp. Thinking it was the pain, her gaze shot up to Teyla's face to check on her. To her surprise, Teyla's eyes were following the gurney that was being wheeled past her bed.

Carson Beckett could see the frustration in the faces of the people working around the Athosian. Knowing the Atlantis team, she wouldn't rest until she was sure her teammates would be okay. He left the parade around the gurney to stop at Teyla's bed.

"Don't worry, lass," he said tiredly. "It looks worse than it is. He just took a spill in the woods. He'll be right as rain in no time."

Without a word, Teyla let out a breath and lay back on the bed. Seeing her compliance, the staff immediately got to work treating her. One nurse thanked Carson, then led him to his own bed.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up is hard to do.

John's eyes flew open and he stifled a groan as the movement of his body had awakened his injuries. He wasn't in the same place as before. That had happened last time, too, and it hadn't gone well for him.

He lay still, trying to slow his rapid breathing. Gradually, sensations began to register. The lights were dim, so he was either underground or it was night-time. It was quiet, and the air smelled sour, unnatural. Some sort of medical facility, then. He could vaguely hear the sound of other people breathing, slowly and regularly as in sleep.

Hoping to avoid detection, John slowly turned his head to take in the surroundings. He was in a bed, which was an improvement over some of his previous adventures. Light spilled in through a doorway. So he wasn't being held in a cell, but he could definitely see at least one guard by the door. Turning his head the other way, he could make out the forms of two other people sleeping in beds like his. At least he wasn't the only one; he'd do his best to get them all out.

His attention moved past the beds to the door in the back corner of the room. It wasn't open, but in the back of his mind John knew that it was an option. He should be able to usher everyone out that way provided they could move quietly.

He took a moment to take stock of his condition. His head hurt a lot. Reaching up, he felt a large piece of gauze taped to his forehead just below his hairline. Quietly he sat up, stifling a gasp when the pounding in his head increased and a wave of dizziness washed over him.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed when he opened his eyes, not realizing he had closed them. Taking a deep breath, he swung his legs around to the side of the bed. A tugging on his arm alerted him to the IV taped to the back of his left hand. That must have been what was keeping him under. The equipment attached to him looked familiar. He could do this without drawing attention to himself.

Within moments he had pulled out the IV, absently wiping the blood on his scrubs. A few flicks of switches shut off the other equipment attached to him. With one more quick look to reassure himself that the guards had not yet noticed his consciousness, he crept toward the back of the room.

He began to suspect that his roommates were drugged rather than sleeping, just as he had been. The military strategist in him said that his best chance was to escape and bring reinforcements since there was no way he could carry two unconscious adults out of here.

Walking turned out to be more difficult than he remembered. For some reason, he was having trouble keeping his balance, and a sharp pain radiated from his hip. He limped carefully, focused on his goal, trying to keep steady despite his spinning head. Hopefully there wouldn't be any guards waiting on the other side of this door. Somehow, he knew there weren't.

He paid little attention to the other occupants of the room until he was past the bed nearest the door, when he took a second look. Dark hair spread across the stark white pillow somehow looked familiar. With a start, he realized it was Teyla lying there, sleeping quietly.

He couldn't do it. He couldn't leave her here to the same fate that he had endured. It was his fault that she had been captured too. She was small enough that he should be able to get her out of here.

Spying the drugs flowing into her arm, he quickly disconnected her IV and tried to rouse her with a shake of the shoulder. After two tries she still hadn't awakened, so he quickly checked for any other devices hooked up to her. Seeing none, he moved to pick her up.

The sound of a chair squeaking made him freeze. One of the guards outside had just gotten up. He could see a shadow moving toward them. It was now or never.

Moving quickly, John scooped up Teyla, who groaned this time. Offering her a quick apology, he backed up and hurried to the door, hardly noticing the IV pole that toppled onto a tray of medical supplies, falling to the floor with a great crash. He vaguely heard a mumbled, "Sheppard?" before the door opened before him and he rushed through.

There was no one on the other side, and he quickly made his way through a maze of rooms to a larger hallway. If he could put some distance between himself and the others, he should be able to lose their pursuers. Then it would just be a matter of finding a friendly patrol and getting back to base.

SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA

Teyla was vaguely aware of someone checking on her. Her mind still heavy with sedation, she merely let herself slip back into the blackness of sleep.

What could have been moments or hours later, she felt someone lifting her. Confused, she tried to open her eyes. Even with morphine flowing through her veins, the action reawakened the pain in her leg. She couldn't hold back a groan.

Though still confused, she recognized John's muttered apology. Something was wrong, but if he was here then things would be all right. Any adrenaline in her system was quickly overwhelmed by the morphine as she relaxed. Blackness overtook her once again.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chapter in which no one gets any sleep.

A crash jolted Ronon out of his drug-induced slumber. Heart pounding, it took him a moment to get his bearings.

Across the dimly-lit room, he could see movement. The shape had unmistakable hair. "Sheppard?" he mumbled, his voice still muddled with sleep.

Everything happened at once. He could hear voices calling urgently outside the room. A moment later, Marie came running in, looking around. Both she and Ronon looked to the back corner as the door hissed shut.

Ronon swore as he untangled himself from the bed sheets, joining Marie in staring at the doorway through which Sheppard disappeared.

The nurse took a look at Ronon's hand and made a disapproving noise. She marched over to the corner to turn up the lighting, handing Ronon a piece of gauze on her way back.

Ronon looked at her, questioning. "For your hand," Marie said, nodding toward Ronon's left side. He looked down. Blood was running down his hand. He'd pulled out his IV without realizing when he had jumped out of bed.

One thing that Ronon liked about Marie was that she was no-nonsense and picked her battles. She took one look at the colonel's empty bed and turned back to Ronon.

The former runner shrugged, still trying to shake the fuzzy feeling of sleep. "I just saw him walk through the back door. He didn't answer me. I should've seen this coming."

Marie sighed. "WE should have seen this coming," she said. "He seemed to be more lucid once he was back, but concussions can do strange things. I hope he isn't having more hallucinations."

At that, Ronon turned to Teyla's bed. She'd been silent throughout this. Swearing, he realized she was no longer in her bed.

"He's hallucinating," he said with certainty. At Marie's questioning look, he pointed to Teyla's empty bed.

Marie cursed under her breath, angry with herself for not noticing Teyla's absence sooner. The Athosian had awakened after surgery to repair damage to her leg, but for now she was being pumped full of painkillers and antibiotics. Marie doubted the woman was even conscious right now.

"We need to find them. Now," Marie said.

"Sheppard won't hurt her," Ronon reassured her.

"Probably not, but the colonel isn't in any condition to care for her," Marie said. "Teyla is in danger of infection or going into shock from the pain if we don't find her soon."

Out in the main part of the infirmary, Ronon could hear people moving around. Moments later, a sleepy Carson Beckett came in with an equally tired Major Lorne right behind him. "What's goin' on?" he asked, his accent thick.

As Marie filled in the others, Ronon took the opportunity to grab his clothing and change. His arm smarted as he moved, but it was bearable. Teyla and Sheppard would be hurting far worse once their medication wore off.

Ronon walked back into the room, double-checking that his gun was set to 'stun'.

"Where do ya think you're goin'?" Carson asked, rounding on him.

"After Sheppard," Ronon said matter-of-factly.

Carson threw his hands in the air. "I don't know why I bloody bother!"

Ronon was non-plussed. "We'll get them back soon," he said, nodding to Lorne.

"Control is trying to find them on the city scanners," Lorne reported back. "They're not in the infirmary any longer. Two people wandering the halls at this time of the morning shouldn't be too hard to find."

Taking a small Wraith stunner from a soldier who had come racing in, Lorne gave the man instructions before looking at Ronon.

"Ready?" he asked. At Ronon's nod, they both headed to the back entrance. Everyone else crossed their fingers. Sheppard wasn't in his right mind at the moment, and Carson knew that both of his patients were not out of the woods yet. The colonel would never forgive himself if anything happened to Teyla. Silently, Carson wondered when any of them would catch a break.

SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA

Teyla's next return to consciousness was more gradual. Her surroundings were dim and silent, and it was only the cool air and hard floor beneath her that kept her from being lulled back to sleep.

Blinking heavily, she tried to get her bearings. The sharp, burning pain in her leg reminded her of their ill-fated mission. She vaguely remembered being in the infirmary; and the Ancient architecture soaring above her confirmed that she was indeed back on Atlantis. Her brow crinkled: where was she? How did she get here?

Looking around, she saw that she was in a large room. The pale blue light of the shadows suggested that the lights were not on in this part of the city. Only the pale light of pre-dawn shone through the dirty windows. She was pretty sure she could hear water dripping in the distance.

"Hello?" Teyla attempted to call out, but it came out more as a croak. She could really use some water right now. She shivered; she really needed to get off of the floor first. Not bothering to hide her grimace, she slowly sat up and slid herself back until she was sitting against the wall behind her.

A distant sound reached her ears from the dark hallway outside the door. Teyla tried to quell the panic that arose when she realized that she would have difficulty defending herself from any attackers. She tried to maneuver herself to a standing position so she would have at least a fighting chance against her unseen opponent, but it was quickly apparent that she would fight no one today.

Movement caused an explosion of pain. Time lost all meaning; Teyla was conscious of nothing except the burning that seemed to consume her body and her pained gasps for air. It was only when the pain began to settle that sight and sound began to return to her.

"Teyla?"

The concerned voice guided her back to the land of the living. Taking a calming breath, Teyla opened her eyes to find hazel eyes staring back at her in concern.

"I am fine, John," she said, her voice gasping more than she had hoped it would. "I fear I cannot move very much, though."

John looked around at the room, but Teyla felt her heart sinking as she realized they held the same glassiness as they had when he was under the influence of the device. Though he examined the Ancient architecture, he likely saw something else.

"I've been trying to scrounge some supplies, but there's absolutely nothing here," he said, continuing to study their surroundings.

"John, we are on Atlantis. We are safe," Teyla said, hoping that her words would make him see what was right in front of him.

John shook his head. "I'll feel better once we find some friendlies and get the hell out of Dodge," he said. "But for now, I'd settle for some shelter."

"John," she said, reaching for his face. Hoping her touch would ground him, she said, "Look around you. We are already inside a building. We are in Atlantis."

His eyes scanned their surroundings but did not see them.

"I'm just glad I got you out of there," he said softly. "We'll go back for Ronon as soon as we get some backup."

"To where were you referring?" she asked him, curious and fearful at the same time.

"The medical center they were holding us in," he said matter-of-factly.

"John, we were in the infirmary on Atlantis. Home," she replied.

He shook his head ruefully. "You were pretty drugged up. You don't remember, I guess. It's probably for the best."

Teyla studied her scrubs. They were the familiar Atlantis issue. Perhaps there was something she was missing in her drugged state.

"Was it an alien invasion?" she asked.

Now John looked at her as though she had grown a second head.

"What?" he asked, laughing. "No, the enemy's medical center. Again. I hope it wasn't a research facility," he added with a shudder.

Now Teyla was sure that his mind was somewhere back on Earth. Gesturing him closer, she continued to frame his face with her hands.

"John," she said. "You are on Atlantis. Not Earth. You know me from the Pegasus Galaxy. Remember? You came through the stargate."

John looked at her like she was the one who was crazy. "Don't worry," he said, patting her good knee. "I'll get you out of here, come hell or high water. Now I'm gonna go scout around a bit more."

"John!" Teyla shouted after him, but all he did in reply was gesture her to be quiet. With that, he slipped around the doorway into the hallway beyond.

Teyla couldn't stop the hot tears that began streaming down her face as panic once again set in. She was tired, in great pain, and still slightly dizzy and disoriented from her medication. Given the lack of rescue so far, she guessed that John had brought them to a part of the city where the sensors still did not work. More than likely, that had been an unconscious decision based on years of military training.

John recognized her but not his surroundings, something that worried her greatly. It was up to her to somehow convince a delusional John to get them back to a populated area of the city despite his distrust anyone who wasn't her right now. The problem was that she currently lacked the strength to move on her own.

She was trapped.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hide and Seek in Atlantis

Ronon and Lorne had left the infirmary by the same route that John had earlier. Once out in the main hallways, though, there was no way of telling where John had taken Teyla.

They hurried to the Control Room. "Dr. Z, give me some good news," Lorne said as they approached Radek Zelenka, who had been working with the city's scanners.

"I am sorry, Major," he said with a regretful look. "I have sent out search parties to every possible point. So far, nothing."

"Can't you track their sub-q transmitters to figure out which ones they are?" Ronon asked.

"No," Radek said with a shake of his head. "We can find transmitters, but we do not know to whom they belong. That was one of many projects on Rodney's to-do list."

The Satedan joined the major in front of the diagram of Atlantis and quickly looked for dots in his friends' rooms. They were empty.

"Well, if they're not showing up on the scanners, they must be in a part of the city where the scanners haven't been fixed," Lorne said, turning back to the other two men.

"Sheppard moved fast. They must have used a transporter," Ronon added.

"That is a lot of ground to cover, Major," Zelenka said.

"I know," Lorne sighed, turning back to the diagram deep in thought. "The thing is, I'm wary about sending anyone that the colonel doesn't know out to search for him."

When the other two looked at him, he shrugged. "Ronon, you said he recognized you on the planet, right?"

Ronon shrugged. "Sort of. He recognized that he knew me and he knew my name, but he thought he knew me from Afghanistan. Teyla's the only person he seems to really recognize."

"From what the doc was saying, she is probably conscious but extremely uncomfortable right now," Lorne said. "Our best bet is to somehow find Sheppard and hope he doesn't shoot us."

"Again, you mean," Ronon said. When the others looked at him, he laughed and shrugged.

"Well, I am feeling a bit left out right now," Lorne said drolly.

"I am okay with not being shot by the colonel," Zelenka said, turning back to the computer in front of him. "I will call you if I discover anything."

Lorne turned to Ronon. "Right. Let's go find them."

SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA

As far as strategies went, Ronon's was simple yet efficient.

Radek would identify transporters that would take them to potential areas of hiding. Lorne and Ronon would arrive quietly. The major watched as Ronon strode out of each, moving silently, and simply stood for a couple of minutes, listening. After that, he would bellow Sheppard and Teyla's names, hoping for a reply. Their only answer was the silence that filled the abandoned hallways.

Even Ronon was losing patience as they entered another dank hallway. Some of the early morning light filtered in through the filthy windows at the far end. Lorne calculated they must be near ground level on the 'east' side of the city.

The two men stood in silence, the far-off sound of water dripping echoing down the hallway. There was dirt and debris spread across the floor – apparently this was one of the damaged parts of the city that they had never gotten around to cleaning up. Lorne couldn't suppress a shiver as the cold, damp air sat heavily around them.

Ronon called out, once again expecting nothing. He thought that perhaps his imagination was looking for hope when he heard a quiet voice, but the cocking of Lorne's head confirmed that the other man had heard it as well. The major began moving forward slowly, hoping that his hand-held life-signs detector would pick up the colonel and Teyla.

"Just our luck that they're hiding in the most god-forsaken part of the city," Lorne muttered.

The Satedan took point, walking as quickly as he could through the slippery debris on the floor. Hoping that Sheppard was lucid enough to once again recognize him as friend rather than foe, he listened carefully, trying to figure out where his friends were hiding.

At the same time that a dot came into range on the LSD, a quiet voice cut the stillness. "Ronon?"

Picking their way across the debris and slippery floor as quickly as they dared, the two men aimed for a doorway partway down the hall.

Ronon held his blaster in front of him as he carefully peeked around the doorway into the room. Upon seeing Teyla alone in the room propped up against the far wall, Ronon shoved his gun back into its holster and hurried to her side.

"Thank the Ancestors," Teyla said, unable to stop tears of pain and exhaustion from streaming down her cheeks. "I did not know where we were and am unable to walk."

"Where's the colonel?" Lorne asked, kneeling down next to Teyla across from Ronon. He quickly removed his vest so he could drape his uniform jacket over Teyla's trembling frame.

"I do not know," Teyla said. "He said he was going to scout the area. I am surprised that you have not come across him."

"Well, the colonel can be sneaky when he wants to be," Lorne said.

After calling a medical team to retrieve Teyla, Ronon and Lorne could only sit with her until they arrived.

Ronon was the first to notice a slight movement by the doorway. He caught Lorne's eye, and the men turned toward the door without getting up.

"Colonel?" Lorne called into the darkness.

"Teyla, you okay?" came a voice from the hallway.

"I am fine, John," she said, feeling anything but. "They have called for medical help. It is all right."

Satisfied that these were friendies, John slowly limped into the room. Addressing Ronon and Lorne, he said, "Wrong rank, but you've got the right people."

Lorne sighed. Of course something couldn't possibly go their way for once. Slowly he stood, trying to appear as non-threatening as possible so he didn't set off the colonel. Ronon stayed kneeling, his stunner out of sight.

"Sir, perhaps you should sit down before you fall down," Lorne said, reaching out to Sheppard.

"Yeah, I'm not feeling so good," John admitted. That in itself was almost more disconcerting than his inability to understand that he was home.

Lorne gently took Sheppard's elbow and led him forward. He could feel the man shaking in his grasp.

"Sorry I couldn't find anything useful," the colonel lamented as he painfully lowered himself to the ground next to Teyla. "I was hoping for some blankets or something. It's so cold and the sky is pretty dark. I'm worried it's going to rain and we'll be stuck without cover."

"John," Teyla began, putting her hand on top of his and hoping the touch would ground him. "We are indoors. Look around you. We are in Atlantis. At home."

"Huh," John said in wonder, looking around as if noticing the 'Lantean architecture for the first time. He turned to the other two men. "Thanks for getting her inside, guys. I owe you a round once we get back to base."

Teyla held in a frustrated sigh before leaning back and closing her eyes. She must have fallen asleep, because the next thing she knew, medical staff were kneeling in front of her checking her vitals.

Beside her, John was fidgeting and demanding to be given a radio and someone's call sign. Before Teyla could intervene again, someone slipped painkillers into her new IV and she quickly knew no more.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's back under Carson's tender care, but that doesn't mean everything's better.

Lorne and Ronon had once again taken their seats in the waiting room, flanked by Elizabeth and Radek. Everyone looked drop-dead tired, having been up much of the night tracking the wayward colonel, but they all refused to rest until their friends were once again settled.

The medical team had been able to manage Teyla's pain and quickly return her to the infirmary, but Col. Sheppard had been a different matter. He had panicked and become combative, convinced that they were hostiles. Ronon had stunned him, which had earned him a telling-off from Elizabeth while they waited. Ronon had merely shrugged off the tirade. Secretly, Lorne thought the Satedan had done the right thing. Sheppard obviously was confused and wasn't about to be talked down.

Throughout all of the excitement, Rodney had remained deeply asleep in the infirmary, his condition stable.

A nurse came out and they quietly walked together to a room at the back of the infirmary. Two guards were posted outside the door but stood to the side, out of sight of the room's occupants.

"They're both sleeping now," the nurse reported softly. "It looks like they escaped any further injury except for some cuts on the colonel's feet from walking barefoot. We're keeping an eye on those because there was standing water in the area. Otherwise, they're no worse for wear."

"Is it wise to have Teyla in the same room as Col. Sheppard?" Elizabeth asked quietly.

"Given that Col. Sheppard's actions have been in defense of Teyla, we thought that proximity to her might keep him calm if he awakens in a confused state again," the nurse answered.

Elizabeth was not comfortable with the arrangement, but she knew that Teyla would choose to be at his side had she been awake.

"Right," she said, trying to stifle a yawn. "It's time to get back to work."

Seeing Ronon as she turned to walk out, she narrowed her eyes. "Aren't you supposed to be in bed?"

Ronon shrugged, then cringed slightly when a Scottish voice rang out behind him: "Aye, he is."

The former runner turned around slightly sheepishly and was quickly relieved of his gun and dragged by the arm toward an empty bed in the main part of the infirmary. Elizabeth certainly had no desire to be in Ronon's shoes at that moment as she heard Carson start in on him with, "What's this I hear about you stunning the colonel? Are ya daft?"

The closing infirmary doors smothered Ronon's reply. Relieved that everyone seemed to be doing better for the moment, she headed toward the control room. If nothing else, perhaps dealing with the Satedan would help Carson move on from yesterday's mission.

SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA

John's return to consciousness left him wanting to surrender to the blackness once more. His head ached so much that he was pretty sure even his hair hurt. His throat was dry and he could feel sharp pains all over his body. With great effort and a small involuntary groan, he managed to pry his eyes open.

His surroundings seemed familiar, yet he wasn't sure if that was good or bad. Uncomfortable, he tried to shift position only to notice that his arms were restrained to the sides of the bed.

He reacted, tugging both arms with all his might, but the soft white restraints stayed tight. Why was he restrained? Where was he? He had to get out.

Panic swept over him. He was vaguely aware of alarms going off nearby and medical personnel running into the room and calling his name, but his focus remained on the cuffs restraining his arms.

Hands pushed him back down on the bed, but he continued to writhe in an attempt to escape. His chest was tightening and his head began to swirl with the lack of oxygen as people shouted over his head.

Suddenly, a warm hand lay softly on his arm. John's attention was drawn away from his struggles, focused on the feminine hand that stood out against his pale skin. He looked up at its owner. His head was still swimming, but he knew the exotic woman before him. She was safety and comfort. Her soothing voice spoke his name.

"Teyla," he whispered. Somehow, above all of the commotion around him, she heard him and beamed.

Suddenly all of the activity around his bed faded away and he felt his heart return to a normal rhythm. If Teyla was here and safe, then things must be all right.

Slowly John felt himself slipping back toward sleep.

SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA

Teyla felt herself guided backward into a chair as she watched John fall into a peaceful slumber, helped along by a sedative that had been quickly administered. It had been heart-breaking to witness him wake in such distress. Thankfully, a quick-thinking marine orderly had lifted her out of bed to stand beside John. She had felt beyond relief when John recognized her. Immediately his struggles had ceased and his heart rate had begun to slow, much to the relief of the medical staff standing around his bed.

"Ma'am, we need to get you back into bed," the orderly said, standing behind her.

Teyla was torn: she was exhausted, but she knew that she would soon end up back in this chair. John had a head injury, and obviously was partially reliving a traumatic experience from his past. Somehow, her presence seemed to be his only link to reality. It was going to be up to her to see him through his angst until he was once more back in the present.

"John needs his rest," she told the orderly firmly. "If I will end up here again, I should save my strength and stay in this chair until I am needed again."

The orderly was about to argue when a deep voice rumbled, "Take the bed to her."

Both turned to where Ronon stood in the doorway wearing scrubs. He had been left unattended during the chaos in John's room and took it upon himself to check in on his friends.

Knowing how stubborn all members of Sheppard's team were, the orderly finally shrugged in defeat and unlocked the wheels of Teyla's bed while Ronon guided the other end with one hand. Both men helped Teyla hobble around and sit up on the bed.

She stifled a groan as she shifted to get more comfortable. Noticing that John's arms were still restrained, she turned to Carson, who had just entered the room in search of Ronon, ready to launch into another diatribe aimed at the Satedan.

"We need to remove John's restraints," she told the doctor immediately, biting her lip to avoid laughing as Ronon's relief at his narrow escape became evident on his face. Turning back toward John and becoming serious once again, she said, "I believe his panic was due to being unable to move his arms."

Carson looked thoughtful, then shook his head. "No, it's best for now to keep him from running off again."

But Teyla had seen the terror surface in his eyes when John had looked down and realized that he could not move his arms freely. That was what had caused his panicked reaction. There must have been a point in John's past when he had been similarly restrained, and things had not gone well for him. Teyla could not see that look in her friend's eyes again.

"Carson, please!" she begged. "He was peaceful until he realized that he was restrained."

Carson was a skilled doctor and valued his ability to separate friendship from medicine on this base, but Teyla's pleas tore at his heart. Maybe she was right. Besides, there were people here to stop the colonel if he became out-of-control once again.

With a sigh, Carson slowly undid the straps, inwardly wincing at the red marks on John's wrists despite the padding. He had struggled hard. Carson just hoped he was making the right decision.

John began to mutter in his sleep, tossing his head from side to side. Rolling onto her side, Teyla stuck her IV-free hand through the bars separating their beds to rest it on John's arm. Instantly he quieted down, and in moments both patients were deeply asleep.

Seeing Ronon pull up a chair, Carson made a show of disapproval but was secretly glad that someone was there to watch over the teammates. John's injuries were troubling, but all they could do now was wait for him to return to them.

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronon makes his escape and John has a headache

The rest of the day passed quite uneventfully, surprising given the drama of the night before. At one point, Ronon managed to find the clothing that Carson had hidden and essentially discharged himself from the infirmary. He changed and went to the mess hall for a quick meal, but he was soon back. Mostly, he sat with Teyla and Sheppard, but a couple of times an hour he would quietly walk through to the main part of the infirmary to check on Rodney and Kagan.

Lorne and Elizabeth came by to visit before dinner. "How are they doing?" she whispered to Ronon, not wanting to wake the sleeping pair.

Ronon could see that Sheppard was getting restless again. "Watch this," he whispered.

Sheppard twitched to one side and murmured something, his brow creased with worry. Without even opening her eyes, Teyla mumbled something in reply and squeezed John's arm. Within moments, both were peacefully asleep again.

"They've been doing that all day," Ronon said quietly.

"And thank goodness for it. They've both gotten some rest," Carson said, walking up behind them. With a pointed stare, he added, "Ronon is the only patient who's gone walkabout today."

The group moved into Carson's office for an update. "Rodney and Teyla are doing well. Despite their injuries, nothing vital was damaged and so far they seem to have avoided infection. We'll be keeping an eye on that.

"The next 48 hours are crucial, but Lt. Kagan seems to be doing very well, all things considered." At this, Carson cleared his throat before going on.

"Finally, Col. Sheppard sustained a nasty concussion in his fall on the planet, as well as some deep bruising to his ribs and hip. He also sustained cuts on his feet from walking around damaged parts of the city barefoot, but we started him in with some heavy antibiotics straight away, and he seems to have avoided infection, too.

"The head injury, thankfully, isn't as bad as it could be. I think his delusions might be related to hitting his head so soon after that bloody device was turned off. Even though we weren't hallucinating any longer, our minds had been out of whack for hours and our brain chemistries weren't yet back to normal when the poor lad took that tumble. For the moment, that's the only explanation I have for the fact that he seems a few crayons short of a box right now."

Everyone could hear the moment in which Rodney normally butted in with a comment on the normal state of Sheppard's brain. Instead, after a pregnant pause, Elizabeth cleared her throat and asked, "Will he be okay?"

"Aye, things will set themselves right eventually," Carson said. "He just might feel a wee bit miserable in the meantime."

Sheppard never did things the easy way, Lorne thought to himself. 'A wee bit miserable' would probably be an understatement.

Elizabeth nodded, suddenly looking very tired. "That's good to hear. Thank you, Carson."

Weir and Lorne then turned to the sad business of discussing when the bodies of the fallen could be sent home. Lorne was happy that this was one part of the job that Sheppard usually dealt with, but there was no way the colonel was in a fit state to do so right now.

"How are you doing, Carson?" Elizabeth asked the doctor softly once Lorne left.

Carson sighed. "Aye, fine, though I admit that I've had a nurse double-checking my work all day. Just in case, mind."

Elizabeth patted his arm. "Well, I still trust you. I think we'll all be happy to just put this behind us."

"Aye, though it won't be easy," Carson admitted.

They walked back through the infirmary to the room at the back. "He never catches a break, does he?" Elizabeth asked, sighing, as she and Carson watched John and Teyla sleep.

Carson nodded morosely. "No, poor bugger."

SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA

John Sheppard knew that something wasn't quite right. The story that played out in front of him kept shifting, never quite coalescing into a narrative that made sense. There was a certain sense of deja vu, but at the same time it felt all new.

Whenever the pain became too much, the torture unbearable, suddenly he heard a feminine voice. But … there were no women here in this place of pain and suffering. It was only men who had caused his pain. Each time, John clung to the voice and the warmth and safety it represented in his mind. Slowly, he would follow it away from the torment and fall back into a deep, dreamless sleep.

SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA

The next morning as she came in to check on her friends, Elizabeth Weir was surprised to see that Teyla had been moved into the main part of the infirmary. The Athosian didn't stir as she walked by toward Carson's office.

"Aye, they both had a rough night," the Scotsman said as Elizabeth gave him a questioning look.

"I hope you weren't up with them," she said, eyeing up her friend.

Carson shook his head. "No, I just got in myself. Can't say it was the best night's sleep I've ever had, but it was still better than what they got, I think."

During the night, John had awakened and seemed somewhat coherent. However, the coherence also brought with it an awareness of the abuse his mind and body had endured.

The decision had been made to move Teyla when John's sickness kept her up. Given that she had a slightly elevated temperature, the doctor on duty had moved her into another part of the infirmary and given her a sleeping aid when her worry over John had kept her awake. Meanwhile, Rodney had awakened. He was still heavily drugged, but much to Carson's amusement, that didn't stop him from talking.

For hours, John endured the misery of a blinding headache and bruised body exacerbated by bouts of vomiting. The physical anguish and mental exhaustion had driven the normally-stoic colonel to tears. The medical team had decided to intervene when Sheppard had actually begged Ronon, without the smallest hint of a joke, to stun him. John was now sleeping in a darkened room at the back of the infirmary, heavily drugged.

"So you don't think he'll run off again, do you?" Elizabeth asked Carson, trying to inject some levity into the situation.

Carson shook his head ruefully. "I don't think he'll feel like giving us any trouble for a good long while."

Elizabeth sighed. From what she understood, John and Carson had been the only two people who had not been physically injured. However, it sounded as though the nature of John's delusions were different from anyone else's. How had it all gone so horribly wrong?

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John sulks in a back room

By late afternoon, Teyla's temperature had returned to normal. She awoke feeling better than she had since the team's mission. After assessing her condition, her first thoughts were of John.

"How is he?" she murmured to Ronon when the Satedan came to sit with her after dinner.

Ronon shrugged. "Beckett has kept everyone out. Apparently Sheppard's still got a bad headache, so I haven't seen him."

Teyla sighed. She still wasn't convinced that her friend was on the mend.

SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA

Teyla had been released from the infirmary for the better part of a day by the time she approached Carson yet again about seeing John. It had been three days since she shared a room with him in the infirmary; since then he had been too sick and his headache too intense to allow him to tolerate visitors. Now, though, he was reportedly feeling better.

The Athosian was surprised when the doctor led her into his office when she asked again to visit John.

"I'm a wee bit worried about him, love," Carson admitted after making sure she was settled into a chair.

"What is the matter?" Teyla asked. "I thought his headache was finally going away."

"Aye, it is," he said. "It's more his emotional state right now that I'm worried about."

Carson had never received the full details of John's hallucinations. Knowing that the colonel was an extremely private man, he hadn't wanted to pry. But after this afternoon's check he was grateful that Teyla was now here. She could handle the colonel better than anyone.

"He's been a wee bit down," he told her, not wanting to betray the colonel's confidence by telling Teyla that he had actually seen tear streaks on the face of the most composed man he knew. Why, he didn't know, but all the same it was unsettling.

"Given his injuries and what has happened, I'm not surprised that he's having some mood swings," Carson continued. "You always seem to be able to cheer up the lad. Maybe you can put him in a better mood."

Teyla felt a bit of trepidation as Carson spoke. Reading between the lines, she could tell that things were still not right with John.

"He's still in the room at the back so he can have a little privacy," Carson said as he led her through the infirmary, stopping to push an empty IV pole aside so Teyla's crutches would not catch on it. He nodded her in as they reached John's room.

The lights were off, but muted sunshine shone in through the curtains. John lay on his right side, his back to the door.

Teyla crept quietly forward, not wanting to wake John if he was sleeping. However, her crutches squeaked slightly against the floor, and a moment later a quiet voice said, "Hey, Teyla."

"Hello, John," Teyla said, rounding the bed less cautiously. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," he replied automatically, but Teyla didn't buy it. He looked tired. His eyes followed her as she approached and awkwardly seated herself by the bed, keeping her injured leg stretched out. She could tell by the look on his face that he was blaming himself for her injury. It was best to approach John directly, she decided.

"John, I am fine," she said as his eyes rested on her injured leg. "It was not your fault."

His eyes met hers. "Of course it wasn't. I wasn't the one who shot you," he snapped. She was pretty sure he added a 'for once' under his breath.

She tried to rein in her own temper, which was still slightly frayed from the FUBAR'd mission, and reminded herself that John had a head injury. She was just about to reply when Ronon's frame filled the doorway.

At the Satedan's 'hey', John stiffly rolled himself onto his back. For the next few minutes, Teyla watched as John and Ronon occasionally conversed – with Ronon assuring the colonel that his arm was already almost fully healed – and she was completely ignored.

Finally, feeling slightly annoyed, Teyla rose to her feet and grabbed her crutches. "I am going to see if Rodney is awake," she said shortly as she hobbled out of the room. She missed the look of sadness in John's eyes as his gaze followed her progress toward the door.

Ronon did not.

SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA

"What's up?" Ronon asked bluntly once the sound of Teyla's crutches retreated down the corridor.

"What? Nothing," John said quickly. The emptiness in his eyes and the flatness in his voice betrayed him.

"It's over, Sheppard," Ronon said. "We need you to quit sleeping all day and get back to work."

John was pretty sure he murmured some sort of agreement. But it was easier said than done. While Ronon and the others merely had to deal with superficial injuries and generic fears, John's mind couldn't help but replay for him Holland's failed rescue – versions 1 and 2 – at every turn. He was exhausted.

True, he was feeling a bit sorry for himself, but all of this turmoil was draining. At least Ronon was fine and Rodney was on the mend, although they had yet to speak face to face.

Realizing that John still hadn't answered his implied question about Teyla, Ronon pushed again.

"What's up with Teyla?" he asked. "Were you two arguing before I got here?"

"No," said John shortly. He made a show of snuggling down into the bed for a nap, but he stopped with a sigh and sat up when he saw Ronon's look.

For a while they sat in silence. But Ronon could be a patient man when he wanted to be, and he knew he had Sheppard cornered.

Looking down and picking at the bed sheet, John finally mumbled, "How badly did I hurt her?"

Ronon looked at him, confused. Surely Sheppard remembered what went down. He hoped this wasn't a side effect of the device and the head injury.

"You weren't the one who shot her," he told his friend patiently.

"I know that! Why does everyone feel the need to remind me?" John said, frustrated. With that, he painfully rolled over with his back to Ronon. "I'm tired."

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronon becomes a psychologist and Rodney's appetite returns

Ronon sat for a moment, surprised at the dismissal, watching his friend's stiff shoulders. Carson had warned him that John might not be in a good mood, but he was surprised at the belligerence of his normally easy-going friend.

Finally, the Satedan exited the room and headed for the dining hall. With a full tray, he found a table looking out through the glass doors onto the balcony. The day had turned grey and windy, so the outside tables remained empty and he was able to see angry waves crashing against the edges of the city below.

Ronon stared without really seeing and ate without thinking. The vehemence of John's outburst had surprised him. Why had his response made Sheppard so angry?

Suddenly the answer hit him: John remembered far more than anyone gave him credit for. In typical form, he must have remembered how he had dragged Teyla first through the forest on that planet and then into the bowels of Atlantis. He knew Sheppard would blame himself for the suffering that would have caused her.

Ronon quickly finished his meal and headed back to the infirmary with a tray for Teyla. He wasn't surprised to find her sitting beside Rodney's bed with her injured leg propped up on a chair. For once, the scientist was awake.

"How are you feeling?" he asked Rodney.

"Like I've been shot," Rodney replied, although the answer was more resigned than malicious.

"Sheppard didn't mean to do it," Ronon said matter-of-factly.

"I know," Rodney sighed. "How's he doing, anyway?"

Teyla looked up from her dinner tray, her eyes meeting Ronon's.

"He's fine," Ronon said succinctly.

The teammates sat together a while longer. When Rodney stared longingly at Teyla's dinner plate, Ronon knew that the man was on the road to recovery.

After a while, the scientist fell asleep. Ronon and Teyla sat beside him in companionable silence.

"I think Sheppard remembers dragging you around," Ronon said eventually. "That's probably what he feels so guilty about."

"You think it is guilt rather than anger?" she asked. Ronon nodded.

Teyla shuddered, remembering the pain and helplessness of waking up in the bowels of the city and being unable to walk. She was surprised that Ronon had put the pieces of the puzzle together when she had not. It all made sense now.

Carson found them still sitting as he did his final rounds of the evening. "You should go rest, love," he told Teyla pointedly.

She nodded in agreement. "How is Colonel Sheppard?"

Carson sighed. "Still an ornery bugger when he bothers to acknowledge anyone. Hopefully he'll be more agreeable tomorrow."

"Is his head injury worse than anyone realized?" Teyla asked worriedly.

Walking to the other side of the room, Carson snagged himself a chair and joined Sheppard's teammates.

"Head injuries can be tricky, but it is impossible to say because of that bloody device that no one understands," the doctor said. "What's got me worried is that he's too quiet. Normally by now I would be foiling his plans to escape the infirmary, but instead he's just doing his physical therapy and spending the rest of the time lying there staring at the wall. He didn't even want his laptop. I'd be happier if he ate a bit more, too."

These developments were truly worrying.

Thanking the Scottish doctor again, the teammates headed back to John's room to check on him. Surprisingly, he seemed to be genuinely asleep, so they left the infirmary for the night.

Ronon walked slowly, not wanting to rush Teyla with her crutches. Upon arriving at her quarters, Ronon saw that Teyla was reluctant to enter.

"Hey, everyone will be all right," he told her quietly.

Teyla looked at their surroundings. The hallway was empty, so she let down her guard slightly.

Feeling uncharacteristic tears pricking at her eyes, she looked past Ronon's shoulder as she thought about the challenges everyone on that mission faced. "In some ways, I cannot help but feel that I got off lucky despite getting shot," she said. "I did not have to face the same demons as the rest of you."

Ronon shrugged. Teyla had not hallucinated, but she had been forced to watch their disintegration with a clear gaze. Physical pain could be traumatizing, too, and she had endured plenty of that. "I guess you just learn to deal with it after a while."

That statement did not sit well with Teyla. "None of you deserved to suffer as you did. It saddens me that any of you had to experience such things."

Knowing the Athosian was tired and upset, Ronon stepped forward and embraced her. He could sense how tired she was by how much she leaned her weight against him, seeking strength from his presence. Finally, he kissed the top of her head and stood back.

"You need to rest. Breakfast tomorrow?" he asked.

Teyla nodded with a small smile. "Yes. That would be nice."

"Radio if you need anything," Ronon called to her as she entered her quarters. She gave him a bemused smile and wave. As soon as the door hissed shut, he turned toward his own quarters and what he hoped would be a restful night's sleep.

SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA

Despite the fatigue from her recovery and walking around on crutches, Teyla found sleep to be elusive. Despite trying to use her meditation techniques to relax, her mind would not quiet. After tossing and turning awkwardly for several hours, she once again dressed and wearily made her way back to the infirmary.

She was hardly surprised to see Ronon slouched in a chair next to Rodney's bed. He instantly jumped up to give her his chair, but she nodded toward the back of the infirmary.

Together they made their way to John's room.

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor John has yet another rotten night

John's night had started off well enough. Earlier in the evening, a nurse had wheeled Rodney in and left them to talk alone. After lots of avoiding eye contact, half-finished sentences, and 'forget-its', they had made their peace with each other. After that, John had quickly fallen asleep, doubtless helped along by something slipped into an IV by a well-meaning doctor. However, after only a couple of hours of peaceful sleep, his mind once again began replaying the vivid details of his failed attempt to rescue Holland and his subsequent capture. Slowly, Teyla's face began replacing Holland's agonized features as John attempted to get her to safety. But the sand made forward motion incredibly difficult, like trying to walk through water. Soon John could feel the panic rising as they failed to make any headway against the Taliban behind them.

Still, John would not give up. His rifle was jammed, but he would do everything he could to make sure that Teyla was protected. He felt his heart hammering in his chest as he dragged his friend up the next sand dune. Holland/Teyla's body became increasingly limp, anchoring him down and causing John to shoulder more and more weight. His breath was coming in gasps now, a familiar band tightening around his chest.

Once again his vision clouded, but this time he was sure he saw Teyla standing over him, her lips moving as his vision narrowed into nothingness.

SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA

Ronon and Teyla were instantly glad they had decided to check on John because he appeared to be in the throes of an intense nightmare when they entered the room. He was tossing and mumbling in his sleep, and sweat had broken out along his brow. The two Pegasus natives shared a glance and hurried toward the bed.

John was becoming more agitated by the minute, but their attempts to rouse him failed. Teyla looked around in vain for a doctor or nurse, but the night-duty staff were nowhere to be seen.

John's body flinched, and Teyla wondered whether he might be having muscle cramps. Moments later, his breathing became more and more labored. In a flash, Ronon was out the door looking for medical help. Feeling helpless, Teyla could only stand by as his condition worsened.

A nurse came running into the room and instantly began assessing the colonel's condition. Seconds later, another nurse came in with an oxygen tank. Clearly not aware of his surroundings, John began fighting off any attempts to put the oxygen mask on his face.

Not knowing what else to do, Teyla grabbed his hands in hers and stood over John, calling out to him.

For a brief moment, John's eyes opened in panic and met Teyla's gaze. The nurse used the distraction to slip the mask over the colonel's face, but it was too late. They watched as his eyes rolled back and he sagged back limply into the bed.

SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA

"It looked dramatic, but a panic attack isn't life-threatening for him," a bleary-eyed Carson Beckett said as he stood watching the colonel sleep. "He was having a nightmare, even with the sedative, and he couldn't wake up properly."

Despite being fast-asleep, Carson had immediately come in when radioed about the colonel's setback.

On the other side of the bed, Teyla sat in a chair while Ronon stood behind her. In an uncharacteristic show of support, the Satedan rested a hand on Teyla's shoulder after seeing how shaken she was by Sheppard's condition. Obviously they both trusted Carson implicitly; very few people in Atlantis would be allowed to see either Pegasus native this way.

"Carson, is there anything we can do?" Teyla asked in a tired voice.

"Just be there for him. Everything together has really thrown the lad for a loop. I think his brain is still trying to sort itself out," he said.

Teyla suddenly had an idea. "Would it be possible to monitor John in his quarters instead? When we were in the field, he remembered being in the field on Earth. When he carried me out of the infirmary, he seemed set on escaping from a medical facility. Perhaps more familiar surroundings would calm him."

Carson had privileged access to John's medical records and knew that the man had overcome many obstacles, but even he was not privy to everything in the man's past. But Teyla was extremely intuitive and could read John better than anyone. Her previous suggestions had been useful. Perhaps she was right.

"Well, it is the middle of the night, so the hallways would be empty," the doctor mused as he called a nurse into the room. Knowing that the teammates would not rest until John did, Carson sent Teyla and Ronon ahead to make sure John's quarters were in a proper state to receive him.

They found the colonel's quarters as tidy as always, with Ronon only moving a couple of items out of the way while Teyla nearly collapsed on the room's small couch. Minutes later, Carson radioed that they were on their way. Soon John was settled in his own bed, still deeply asleep.

"I don't suppose either of you will be going back to bed now," Carson said, giving John's teammates a sceptical look.

"Nope, we're good," Ronon said.

Carson figured this was one battle he would lose. "Fine, but make sure you both get some sleep. Teyla, love, make sure you elevate that leg a bit. It's probably for the best that the colonel sees a familiar face when he wakes up somewhere new."

"We will be here," Teyla said sleepily from the sofa.

"Right, call if you need anything. The infirmary is on stand-by," the doctor said, walking to the door. Suddenly he was reluctant to leave, but they all needed rest.

Teyla startled awake as one of her own blankets was draped over her. She realized that she must have fallen asleep almost instantly since she hadn't heard Ronon move.

"Thank you, Ronon," she mumbled. Without the lights and constant sounds and smells of the infirmary, she was asleep within moments.

Ronon had been surprised when Teyla didn't even notice him leave the room. He figured Sheppard would sleep long enough for him to go out for a few minutes. He had grabbed pillows and blankets for Teyla from her room and to his own for the bedroll he sometimes used when he didn't feel like sleeping in his room.

Now that Teyla and Sheppard were both comfortable, Ronon unrolled his bedding in one swift motion and soon joined his friends in sleep.

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally our heroes get the happy ending they deserve, and it gets documented for posterity

Sometime in the early morning, Teyla was awakened by John's restlessness. Hearing Ronon's snores coming from the floor nearby, she quietly got up and limped over to John's bed. He didn't appear to be in the throes of a nightmare, but he was unsettled. He had rolled himself over to one side of his bed and Teyla was too tired to continue hopping around the room, so she slipped in and lay on her side next to him. She began quietly humming an Athosian lullaby, and John soon quieted. Exhausted, Teyla quickly fell asleep. She never noticed that Ronon's snoring had stopped.

SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA

Carson stopped by John's room on his way to the infirmary to start his shift. Letting himself in, he was surprised to see where Teyla had ended up. It was late morning, but he was content to let the bed's occupants continue sleeping.

The fact that Ronon woke but did not draw a weapon at his entrance showed Carson just how much the man had changed since his arrival in the city. Carson saw Ronon try to fight back a smile as he noticed his sleeping teammates. Together the men moved out into the hallway to talk.

"Teyla moved over sometime in the night. They've been sleeping quietly ever since," the Satedan reported to Beckett.

Carson nodded approvingly. In sleep, the colonel and Teyla both looked less hassled than they had in a long time. At this point, rest would do more than anything to heal their injuries and improve their moods. Once John finally rested properly, the panic attacks and nightmares would probably diminish as his brain righted itself. Carson didn't necessarily agree with Sheppard's way of dealing with things, but he knew that pushing the colonel about emotional issues would only cause the man to stop talking altogether.

For the first time since their ill-fated mission, Carson felt hope. "Just let them sleep as long as they want. It looks like Teyla was right. If this keeps up, they'll both be right as rain in no time."

Although Ronon usually kept a good poker face, Carson could see the relief in his face. Together, the two men headed toward the infirmary to check on Rodney, content to walk in silence. Once they had both traded the appropriate insults with the healing scientist, Ronon grabbed a quick lunch in the mess hall before heading back to Sheppard's room to keep an eye on his friends. Just to be sure.

SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA

John's approach to wakefulness was confusing, but for once not in an alarming way. He thought he heard a click and someone moving around, but he didn't sense any danger. He was more intrigued by the fact that someone (judging by the smell of shampoo it was Teyla – it had better be her and not one of their other teammates) was curled up into his side.

John opened his eyes experimentally. Somehow, he had ended up in his own quarters. Judging from the slant of the sunlight through the curtains, it was late afternoon. Then John noticed that the headache that had plagued him for days had diminished significantly. His mind felt clearer than it had in a while. The rest of him was probably still stiff and sore, but right now he was too comfortable to move and figure out what hurt.

He saw Ronon put something down on his desk and quickly reach for his radio and mumble something before turning toward the door. John took a moment to look down and confirm that it was indeed Teyla beside him, before returning his attention to the door in time to see Carson step in and quietly confer with Ronon. Only then did they turn and notice that John was awake.

Carson strode toward him but seemed to hold back at the last minute, his eyes flickering to Teyla. Not wanting to wake her, the doctor whispered to John, "Do you think you can get up, son?"

Slowly and carefully, John maneuvered himself up out of the bed. For once he didn't have to fight a bout of dizziness as he stood up. He limped across the floor to his desk chair where Carson stood waiting. Ronon lounged against the wall in the corner.

"How's Rodney?" he quietly asked the doctor as soon as he was settled.

"Ach, he's fine. I've allowed him his laptop, so he's as happy as a clam for the moment," he said.

"And Kagan?" Sheppard prodded.

Carson stilled for a moment. "He's still not out of the woods, but he's still alive and that's what matters."

They all sat in silence as Carson poked and prodded Sheppard, pleased when the man didn't flinch away in pain when the penlight was shone in his eyes. "You look much better today," he observed.

"I feel better for the first time since this whole mission started," John admitted.

"Aye, we were worried, lad. You weren't yourself for a long while there."

John shrugged. Vague snippets of the past few days crossed his mind, and he realized this was the first time he truly felt in control of his actions. "It was a hell of a mission," he said.

The others nodded their agreement ruefully. Ronon gave him a slap on the shoulder and announced that he was going to the infirmary to visit McKay.

The colonel looked over at his bed, where Teyla hadn't even stirred.

"What about her?" John asked quietly.

"She'll be fine. Rest is just what she needs. She's a tough lass," Carson said fondly. He turned to see John still studying her, unconsciously chewing on his lower lip.

"How badly did I hurt her when I was dragging her around the city?" he asked Carson, turning to him with the most soulful eyes the doctor had ever seen on the pilot. So this is what had been bothering John.

Carson knew that Sheppard would see right through any sugar-coating of the subject. "It didn't help, but it also didn't do any long-term damage," he said. "With time, she'll be fine."

John sighed. "I never meant to cause anyone any pain," he said quietly. Especially not her, Carson added mentally.

"If she was angry, you wouldn't have a lovely lady asleep in your bed right now," Carson said, trying not to laugh at John's incredulous look.

"I'm going to take a shower and put on my own clothes," John said as he stiffly rose from the chair, effectively ending the conversation.

"Aye, I'll leave you to it and check back later," Carson said.

John gathered some fresh clothing, moving around the room gingerly.

He was just about to enter the bathroom when a voice stopped him. "I know that you had no intention of causing me pain, John. You were only trying to protect me."

John stopped and slowly turned to meet Teyla's gaze as she rolled over. "Well, for what it's worth, I'm still sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

"There is nothing to forgive, but if it makes you feel better then you are forgiven," she said.

John finally felt a bit lighter. The memories of Holland and this horrendous mission would continue to haunt him, but they now felt more distant. The pain would fade … eventually.

"I fully intend to take a nap after I take a shower. You'd better not be hogging the entire bed when I get back," he said with a grin.

Teyla smiled back. "I cannot make any guarantees," she said, feeling relaxed for the first time in days. Right now, she lacked any motivation to move. Instead, she basked in the feeling that everything would be all right.

SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA

John couldn't help but smile as he moved through his room. Tomorrow he was back on duty. For now, he was taking his last little bit of spare time to tidy his quarters.

While organizing the paperwork on his desk, Sheppard nearly knocked his digital camera off the edge with his arm. Grabbing it, he moved to place it at the back of the desktop when he had a thought: he hadn't put it there.

Suddenly, he remembered the soft click that had accompanied the awakening in his room several days earlier. Quickly, he turned on the camera and hit the review button.

The most recent photo was one of him and Teyla, both fast asleep in his bed. There was only one possible culprit.

As soon as he got back from the test flight for Carter and McKay's intergalactic gate bridge, he was going to kill Ronon.

FIN

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I use these fine characters without the slightest intention of infringement.


End file.
